Manager and subordinate: relationship etiquette

How to build a relationship with a subordinate - an example

Let's say I want to build a relationship with a specific subordinate. And let’s say I don’t know anything about him, since I don’t like the person very much. And in general, I don’t enter into any contact with him, I simply ignore him like an empty place. It is not right. Then you need to think about how to approach the person. How to approach? Well, sometimes invite him to some conversation. Say: “Well, don’t be surprised, but we’ll talk about personal things. To my shame, I don’t know anything about you. I would like to get to know each other better, don’t be surprised.”

Well, perhaps this will surprise a person and make him wary, but this is a step forward. If you are friendly, don’t pry into your soul with dirty shoes, but nevertheless somehow ask around, take an interest. Well, perhaps the person will be pleasantly surprised, perhaps at first just surprised. But if he sees that you have really changed your behavior pattern, are not rushing to him with hugs, but are simply trying to show attention to him, I assure you, as a rule, this will be interesting to everyone.

How to Criticize a Subordinate's Work Without Impacting Motivation

The main principle is that criticism should be constructive. Then she will not “hit” her colleague’s ambitions and pride, and will also maintain and increase motivation.

It is important

Correctness and respect come first. Talk to the person one-on-one, professionally, without “attacks” or insults.

Praise work that is done well. Together with the employee, develop measures that will improve and correct what was not completed/performed with errors.

Do not criticize the department head in the presence of members of his department. In the conversation, take into account the status and education of the employee, his length of service at the enterprise.

If a subordinate does not comply with subordination - what to do?

If a subordinate does not respect the chain of command, you think about what to do. Do you think where you contact? How do you communicate? What don't you like? And then you clearly see which elements need to be changed or stopped.

At the same time, you can call the employee again and simply talk to him: “You know, I would like you to exclude such and such moments . It takes a certain amount of courage. He may or may not listen. Can you tell me what's wrong with you? And you can say: “Nothing, I just decided that it would be right.”

Here is an important point. The boss can explain his decision, but is not obliged to . But the boss is not obliged to prove his decision. Because the prover is weak. That is, he can explain his decision, and by explaining your decision, you are actually taking a step forward. You rely on a person's intelligence when explaining a decision.

But often the explanation is perceived as dependence, there are people who immediately decide that since you explain your decision to me, it means that I have the opportunity to influence it, or somehow challenge its validity.

And here the leader, entering into this conversation, must be extremely sensitive. To the point where the line may be crossed.

What might this look like?

Let's say we are having some kind of dialogue. And I tell my subordinate:

“You know, I analyzed our relationship with you, and I wouldn’t want you to do this, that, and that. Because it seems to me that this is insubordination. This interferes with the managerial climate and equality in our department. Therefore, I would ask you, simply as a friend, or as a good acquaintance, to meet me halfway, understand me, and in the future to maintain subordination.”

Relatively speaking, if an employee joyfully flies in and shouts: “Hello Sanya!”

And since he alone shouts: “Hello Sanya!”, and the rest say Alexander Petrovich. Either allow everyone or...

Another example of formatting relationships with employees:

Sometimes older workers, trying to seem to reduce our importance, address us by a shortened name. Relatively speaking, Sasha or Sashenka, that is, it’s a little patronizing.

You need to be sensitive to these things, and always think whether this attitude suits you. Because sometimes such a little teaching begins with the reduction of the name. So, it seems to be benevolent, well, Van... And it seems to be in an amicable way, and it seems that he already has the right to teach.

And a leader, when he encounters this kind of thing, should, noting this, always note how you are treated, and whether it is the way you want. And it is not necessary to react to this, he can decide for himself what to react to and what not to. Because if we think it’s wrong, that it’s insubordination, we can ask the person to address you by such and such a name.

For example: “It would be more convenient for me if you called me not Sasha, but Alexander . If you don’t mind,” says the manager.

Or, on the contrary, you can address another person in the same way. Which, as a rule, he doesn’t count on.

For example, he says:

-Well, Sashenka, you know, I would advise you this and that.

And you can answer:

- Thank you Petenka, thank you for the advice. But you know, I would prefer to act in a slightly different manner. But if Petenka you have any advice, please, I’m always glad to hear from you.

And at the door you can call out:

- Yes, Petyunya, what do you have scheduled for tomorrow at 8 am?

That is, we kind of flogged a person with his own whip. He was hoping to talk to us from above...

Well, what if a person accepted this appeal? Then we can again decide what to do. Maintain the same relationship or fix it. And for example, the person did not flinch, but happily accepted it, but this does not suit us. Then we can go to him the next day and say:

“You know, yesterday we switched to diminutive names, I analyzed it and thought that this is not the best form. Come on, if you don’t mind Peter, we will still address you by your full name. Fine? So, you are Peter, and I am Alexander. Can we consider that we have reached an agreement?

Office etiquette in the relationship between a manager and a subordinate

The manager's official etiquette forces him to organize the course of work in such a way that the responsibilities of all subordinates are clearly delineated. Official powers should be distributed evenly, regardless of the individual preferences of employees and the personal attitude of the boss. No matter how much trust an employee has, performance monitoring is always necessary. The behavior of employees will also depend on the general manager of the company. You should not repeat and explain tasks many times and “stand over the soul” of your subordinates. Everyone is an adult and responsible worker, so competent assignment of responsibilities should be combined with ongoing supervision. A serious attitude towards work can be spiced up with the use of jokes and a good mood. However, you need to be extremely careful when using humor. After all, a too cheerful mood kills discipline, and sharp and offensive remarks can turn more than one person against you. It must be remembered that jokes with representatives of the older generation are inappropriate; this may be perceived as a violation of due respect and respect for them. Corporate ethics must always be observed.

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What does it mean to maintain subordination if the subordinate is a friend?

What does it mean to maintain subordination if you have friendly relations with your subordinate? The expression that there is more demand from our own does not mean that we ask more from them. We just expect them to behave more ethically. It is precisely the ethics that he is allowed closer, which means he must be especially careful so as not to betray trust.

The Chinese have a saying: “Never tie your shoelaces in your neighbor’s garden,” so that he doesn’t think that you are stealing his harvest. The idea of ​​this saying is that there is no need to do things that could be perceived by someone as wrong.

Sometimes external ethics are as important as the absence of evil intentions. This means that if I am in a close relationship with a leader, then I should not demonstrate this closeness in front of everyone , because this is a violation of subordination.

That is, if I have a close relationship with the manager, then, on the contrary, I must observe more decor than everyone else. And so that the leader himself does not feel a sense of awkwardness, it seems that it is inconvenient to explain, but not explaining is also bad. And so that others do not decide that the leader has some kind of double standards. This is the important point, “don’t tie your shoelaces in your neighbor’s garden.”

If one of two friends gets a promotion, he shouldn't create more distance. This is stupid, like now address me like this. But, on the other hand, he must avoid what was still possible yesterday, but did not cause difficulties, because they were equal.

And now he must maintain the same relationships in public as with others. In public, attitudes must change . So calm and neat, at least without any visible accents that show that our relationship with two people is different. Because it breeds some kind of resentment, suspicion, etc.

During non-working hours, as much as you like.

The next point is demandingness. If friendship with a subordinate interferes with being demanding, the manager should distance the friendship.

Principles of good management

The manager must analyze the situation, predict the strategy and manage its implementation. The subordinate must implement the manager's decision. Therefore, the basic principles of effective management are certain qualities of a leader - professionalism, organization and integrity. Since he has to solve problems from any area of ​​the organization.

The subordinate, in turn, must be efficient, proactive, honest, decent and striving for promotion.

Team management styles

There are 6 main styles of personnel management, each of which has its own pros and cons:

1. Command style - immediate subordination of employees, mainly in an orderly tone. This style helps keep employees under control, motivate them with discipline and sanctions. It is advisable in critical situations when the risks are very high with the slightest mistake. But at the same time, employees do not develop, do not learn anything, and there is discontent in the team, which will lead to frustration.
2. The authoritarian style involves building a development strategy and creating prospects for subordinates. The manager behaves strictly, but fairly and clearly directs employees in which direction to develop, showing by example what can be achieved. The disadvantage of this style is that if employees do not trust the leader, they simply will not follow him. In addition, subordinates work only according to step-by-step instructions, and therefore have low qualifications.
3. A partnership style of managing employee work involves creating harmonious relationships, the absence of conflicts and motivating a good mood. This style works great when combined with other styles. Since partnership does not increase productivity. This style is only good in cases where you need help or advice when resolving conflicts.
4. The democratic style is designed to involve employees in the work process and maintain mutual understanding in the team. This style is effective when employees work as a team, strive together for the same goal, and have enough experience that everyone can be trusted with a specific task. The only disadvantage of such an organization of personnel management is that subordinates constantly need to be organized, directed, supervised and hold meetings quite often.
5. A leadership style called “pace-setting” —getting the job done as well as the leader himself does it. This style implies self-organization of employees and the desire to perform work at the highest level, following the example of the manager. Ineffective when third party assistance or additional training and coordination is needed.
6. The “coach” style is constant professional development of employees, inspiration, search and development of strengths. This motivates employees, but at the same time, this style of management will be useless if subordinates are lazy. Not everyone has the desire and strength to work on themselves every day.

How to manage a team and what style to choose? Most likely, the effectiveness of personnel management depends not only on the style and methods of management, but also on the personal qualities of subordinates. Therefore, depending on different situations, you need to combine different management styles.

The employee management system includes not only styles, but also management methods.

Team management methods

Personnel management methods are ways to influence the team. They are administrative, economic and socio-psychological.

• Administrative methods influence the awareness of the team, the understanding that it is necessary to maintain discipline, have a sense of duty, strive to work in this organization, and comply with the rules and regulations established in the organization.
• Economic methods - material incentives for employees. Social and psychological – taking into account the social needs of employees, maintaining a healthy atmosphere in the team.

All methods are interconnected and their implementation in team management is clear. But there are also innovative methods of personnel management. For example, setting goals for an employee and a manager for the next six months or a year. An employee sets a specific goal for the benefit of the organization. If it is achieved, the manager, for example, promotes him in position or increases his salary.

• The quarterly reporting method works effectively . This way, the employee sets his own goals and learns how to manage time correctly. As a result, he works more fruitfully and shows initiative. In addition, the need to report to your boss every quarter motivates you to show your best side. No employee goes unnoticed. Everyone receives a reward for their efforts.
• A wonderful method of personnel management is structured planning . Each department sets itself a specific goal, which complements the goals of other departments for the benefit of the development of the organization. To organize work in departments, “team management” is used. Groups bring together those employees who have a similar view of achieving the organization's goals.
• The situational management method is applied only as problems arise. Functional management - each head of his department is responsible for certain functions.
• The comparison method works great when the management system of a given organization is compared with a more advanced organization and the management system is recreated based on its example.
• The expert-analytical method involves the involvement of personnel management specialists. The expert studies the problems of the organization and gives an opinion on what methods are best to manage in this organization.
• In practice, the method of functional cost analysis . When experts determine which functions are not performed and why, unnecessary management functions and the degree of centralization of personnel management are removed.
• The method of creative meetings gives excellent results . Experts and managers express their suggestions on how to improve the personnel management system, which gives rise to many creative ideas.

Every manager wonders how to effectively manage staff? To do this, it is necessary to apply all management methods and styles comprehensively. In addition, do not forget that you need to strictly follow the rules of ethics when communicating with employees.

The right system of management, motivation, punishment and reward will help create a prosperous company. The manager himself will not be able to achieve anything if his employees do not approach their work creatively and with initiative. The main thing for a manager is to be able to interest, motivate and support employees.

Insubordination - what to do, example

Very often it may turn out that a subordinate, in response to the manager’s claims of insubordination, will behave something like this:

“Oh, come on, stop worrying about it, it’s all nonsense...”

Or something like that.

And here we must say loudly and clearly: “STOP!”

You can interrupt it. By the way, “Managerial Struggle” involves using some techniques of black rhetoric . This constructive dialogue involves listening to the other person. And here you can interrupt and confirm this non-verbally. For example: sharply throw your hand forward, and at the same time raise it at eye level of the subordinate. Say loudly: “STOP!” And it shuts anyone up.

But I didn’t hit him, I didn’t insult him, I wasn’t rude. It's just a combination of verbal and non-verbal. Reducing the distance, raising your hand, and clearly the word: “STOP!” Check it out if you want to shut up someone you don’t mind. Check out this move. This is a well-tested technique. When you hit a nail placed in a tree accurately with a hammer, the nail goes into the tree, and this is quite natural. This technique works because it combines several things.

Or like this: “Stop, wait!” - raised a finger. And say something like this: “Wait a second, before you go too far, I want to say this. I think you got the impression that I was asking you for advice. You made a mistake. I tell you about my decision and explain what caused it, but I don’t ask your opinion. And I am not yet interested in your advice in this direction. So, I asked you to address me in such and such a way. Agreed?"

That is, as soon as the subordinate decided that gentle treatment, an explanation, is a sign of weakness. So for some reason he subconsciously decided, we immediately switched to a language understandable to our opponent, and explained to him that he was mistaken. That our gentleness and correctness are just a form of communication between two civilized people.

But it comes from “strength”, not from “weakness”. That is, why should we rattle weapons? Intimidate someone? We are polite, well-mannered people who, nevertheless, remembering the classic: “Goodness must come with fists ,” we are quite capable of defending ourselves.

And if the subordinate decided that a soft approach, polite, that this was from “weakness,” then we immediately showed that he was very mistaken. And this is just out of respect for another human being, but nothing more.

And we, taking a step forward, taking into account our personal relationships, explained our decision. Moreover, we turned to the person with a request to understand us correctly and meet us halfway. But if a person decides that we are asking him or are going to consult, or we are interested in his enlightened opinion: “Give it up, don’t give it up.” He misunderstood us, but having done this technique, we must maintain the same relationship, except for this moment.

That is, we should not now, when passing by him, look menacingly like: “Here, you got a filthy creature, just like that, you’ll know!” We should not distance ourselves , we should not avoid communication, but on the contrary, we can immediately approach a person on some issue and say: “Let’s go have some coffee!”

This has been used many times, and often a person looks in surprise, and we say: “Listen, I wanted to...”, that is, a normal conversation. If the subordinate does not violate subordination, and we behave absolutely normally with him. In the right hemisphere of most people, such a thing is not installed automatically; it must be installed through the left. That is, these must first be conscious actions. Such habits must be introduced into the hemisphere responsible for habits.

The fact is that our security center already scans the world around us, but unfortunately, it gives us a command to react spontaneously, which is wrong. And we actually must learn to constantly monitor the surrounding space, but this time consciously. We must evaluate other people's behavior patterns. Are they behaving correctly? Is there something in their behavior that then breeds optionality? Some destructive actions have a bad effect on work.

Because everything often begins with form, remember: “Being determines consciousness.” An employee’s attitude to work, to certain issues, is often determined by the form of relationship with the manager.

If the leader is “Petyunechka” or “Sasha”, then why bother? Why come to work on time? In principle, he is not a criminal, he works, he works well. But he thinks that he can be allowed some “little slack” from his point of view. He thinks so, we don’t think so.

And you can start with any form. That is, the leader must rebuild the surrounding space along any vector he considers necessary. Because if space breaks through in one place, it then breaks through in others. It rarely happens that a line goes in one direction, but otherwise everything is fine.

That is, it rarely happens that a leader is called “Petenka” or “Sasha,” and this does not in any way affect other aspects, for example, the accuracy of the execution of orders or deadlines. And precisely where the question arises: “should I run after the trolleybus,” a person may not run.

Alexander Fedotov

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Boss and subordinates: business communication between a manager

1. When giving orders, the leader must rely on his own authority . An order can be given in a commanding tone only in emergency situations, when it is necessary to solve the problem immediately. In this case, the initiative of the performer is suppressed and he, in fact, is released from responsibility. He's just following orders. Labor efficiency decreases if an order is given with the threat of punishment. An effective method of managing an employee is an order in the form of a request . Then the employee feels that they trust him, want to cooperate with him and believe in his abilities. Especially if the order concerns something that is not part of his duties. Effective management comes down to the fact that employees need to be stimulated, developed their activity and given the opportunity to take initiative . Only in this case will labor efficiency be the highest.
2. The manager's responsibilities include both punishment and encouragement, and motivation of employees . The legislation defines possible sanctions against employees, but the manager himself should not forget about etiquette. Even when punishing, you need to try to maintain normal relationships in the team.
3. Psychological team management implies the manager’s ability to properly conduct a conversation with subordinates . Before you start talking about misconduct, you need to calm down and start the conversation with the employee’s achievements and successes. The conversation should be conducted in a private setting so as not to create intragroup conflict in the team. It is advisable that the manager explain to the subordinate what he is dissatisfied with, cite the facts of the violation and listen carefully to the subordinate’s explanations. The conversation needs to end with the fact that the manager must emphasize the employee’s strengths and instill in him the belief that in the future he will succeed.
4. The system of employee motivation in the matter of how to manage a team is of great importance. But even you need to be able to encourage employees correctly . Material motivation of personnel should be expressed in rewards for successfully completed work immediately after its completion. The effectiveness of a specific immediate incentive is much higher than waiting for a bonus at the end of the month. Intangible employee motivation can be more valuable than material motivation. For example, if a manager publicly praises an employee in the presence of colleagues whose respect is important to him. Recognizing the success of a subordinate on time with the right words is an excellent motivation . Previously, organizations often practiced presenting certificates and honor boards. Nowadays, in some government organizations such methods of team management remain, but the new generation no longer takes them seriously.
5. The manager's responsibilities also include dismissing employees . This is a rather painful procedure. The manager should not apologize so as not to give unnecessary hope to the subordinate. You should not fire before weekends or holidays. The conversation should take no more than 20 minutes, since the employee, being under stress, simply will not be able to hear detailed explanations and reasons for his dismissal.

The manager's attitude towards his subordinates must be respectful in any situation. It is best to address employees as “you”. When talking with a subordinate, the manager should listen more than talk. Ask questions about what the employee thinks about the quality of his work, what he would improve, what he considers his strengths. In the process of dialogue with subordinates, a leader who knows how to listen can extract a lot of useful information. In particular, how to improve the management of the organization's personnel.

Until recently, the functions of HR managers were performed by line managers. It was enough to simply issue orders for dismissal, hiring and promotion. Now this is not enough. HR managers should:

• personnel selection
• employee development
• motivation
• labor stimulation

Personnel management helps to use all the potential capabilities of employees to achieve the goals of the organization. But at the same time, ensure a normal psychologically healthy atmosphere in the team, monitor working conditions.

Rules of punishment or how to punish correctly?

• Under no circumstances should you punish or criticize a person without confirmed evidence of a violation.
• If the work was performed poorly, you need to find out who assigned it to the employee, how control was carried out and determine the degree of responsibility of the employee for poor quality work. After all, there are often situations when a person simply did not have the necessary materials, knowledge or support to complete the job.
• A leader must be able to admit his mistakes.
• It is necessary to talk with the employee and find out his motivation and reasons for the violation.
• Never criticize an employee publicly.
• The punishment should depend on the severity of the offense. Moreover, the requirements for all team members must be the same.

Issues of subordination in the family

In a family, the concept of subordination is based on traditions and the concepts of elder and younger.

Traditionally, the husband is considered the head of the family. This feature has existed since the times of patriarchy. In many families, the leading position of a man is secured by the traditions of Christian morality and house-building.

The norms of subordination in the family are usually as follows:

In modern society, the roles of family members are often blurred and confused. It often happens that a woman works double duty and earns much more than her husband. In such a family, a woman can constantly emphasize her superiority, and the husband no longer feels like an authority. However, if there is respect for each other in the family, the rules of subordination are strictly observed regardless of the size of the spouses’ earnings.

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Subordinate - leader

You also need to be able to build relationships with your boss, just like relationships between a boss and a subordinate. After all, his future career will depend on how correctly an employee adheres to the norms of business relations. Inept actions and ingratiation with the manager can push him away from his subordinate and force him to draw negative conclusions about the employee. Therefore, we will give several examples showing correct and incorrect behavior in communication between an employee and his boss.

Employees should voice their suggestions delicately and tactfully